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The Hodlssey - Hodlysseus and the journey back to Bithaca

A Hero’s Journey in 6 parts

* A story about the ultimate Bitcoin Hodlr

*Each part of the story is told through a unique oil painting on a hand made replica of a Roman Wax tablet


*Each Tablet comes with a hand carved stylus made of Mespilus Germánica wood and a handmade leather pouch to keep it in

*Only six will ever be made

The Wax Tablets


Wax tablets were used in Ancient Rome as a reusable and portable writing surface for taking down students' or secretaries' notes to recording high-volume business records of transient importance. They are panels of wood, tied together, carved out and filled with pigmented bee's wax that formed the writing surface.


This replica was handmade from the cedar of Lebanon. It is a large evergreen tree that has great religious and historical significance in the cultures of the Middle East, and is referenced many times in the literature of ancient civilizations.


A stylus was used to write on the wax surface. One end was pointed for writing and the other end is flattened to act as an eraser by scraping the wax flat again for a tabula rasa ("blank slate").


The stylus is hand carved from Mespilus germanica wood, native only to southwest Asia and south Eastern Europe and grown by the ancient Greeks and Romans, beginning in the second century BC. Its branches are carved while still on the tree, creating beautiful scars on the branch, which is cut off 6 months later.

The Hodlssey

Fiat was destroyed, but the trials of clever Hodlysseus had just begun.

Follow the Hodlssey, his ten-year journey back to Bithaca after the long Fiat wars with perils at sea and vengeful deities.


The Hodlssey begins after the end of the 40 year Fiat wars, from which Hodlysseus, king of Bithaca, has still not returned due to angering the Central Banks, the gods of money. After decades of fighting the Fiat wars, a strategic invention, Bitcoin, was crafted to change the course of history.

Ending the war, Hodlysseus begins his journey back home to Bithica. A journey full of quests, challenges and near rekt experiences. He would have to conquer demons, deities and vengeful fiat gods using his wit, skills and determination to return to Bithaca.

Hodlysseus is a man of outstanding wisdom and shrewdness, eloquence, resourcefulness, courage, and endurance. He is the one best suited to cope with the crises’ brought on by the fiat standard. Hodlysseus’s bravery and skill in fighting are demonstrated repeatedly, in the years to come after the invention of Bitcoin.


And this is how the voyage at sea begins..

 Part 1- Island of the Lotus Shitcoin Eaters


Hit by a storm, Hodlysseus and his flotilla were washed up on the shores of the the Island of the Lotus Shitcoin eaters. Eating the plant made one forget one's homeland and mission. The local inhabitants, invited Hodlysseus’ scouts to eat of the mysterious plant. Those who did so were overcome by a blissful forgetfulness; these men weren't strong enough to resist the plant and they would stay on the island for eternity or get rekt at sea trying to escape.


Hodlysseus, possessing strong determination and belief in the quest for the Bitcoin Standard turned down their offer of hospitality. He gathered the rest of his crew back to the ship and they continued their voyage to Bithaca.


 Part 2- Hodlysseus and the Bearclops


The next stop in the voyage was the island of the Bearclopes - the one-eyed giants - who lived peacefully tending their sheep. As luck would have it, though, Hodlysseus bumped into the man-eating Cyclops Bearphemos. The giant took a fancy to the travelling Bitcoiners and trapped them in his cave, swiftly eating two as an appetizer. Seeing the gravity of the situation, Hodlysseus immediately forged a cunning plan of escape. Tempting Bearphemos with wine until the Cyclops was drunk. The hero ordered his men to turn his olive-wood staff into a spike, this they then hardened in a fire and used to blind the Bearclops while he slept. Unable to see and understandably livid at his treatment, Bearphemos tried to catch the travelling Bitcoiners by feeling his sheep as they left the cave for their grazing. Hodlysseus then instructed his men to tie themselves to the bellies of the sheep whilst he chose a ram for the purpose, and thus they escaped to continue their voyage. However, the Bearclops cursed Hodlysseus , predicting the loss of his men, a wearisome voyage home, and disaster when he finally arrived there. Calling on the help of his father Poseidon, the god of the sea,  Bearphemos ensured that it would be many a storm and ten long years before Hodlysseus reached Bithica.

 Part 3- Blockaeolus


After their misadventure in Bearphemos’ cave, Hodlysseus and his crew visited Blockaeolus and his family in their palace. The latter gave them hospitality for a month and provided them a west wind to carry them home to Bithica. He also provided a gift of an ox-hide bag containing all winds but the west. Hodlysseus and his crew members traveled steadily and anxiously for several days, but with Bithica in sight, Hodlysseus sank overpowered by sleep. His men proceeded to indulge their curiosity to see the costly presents which they thought the bag contained, opened it unwittingly, and out burst the imprisoned block size wars with such a roar that the force drove the ship back to Blockaeolus' island.

 Part 4- The FUD Sirens


The FUD Sirens are monsters, who pretend to be beautiful women with amazing voices, trying to assure hodlrs, who pass their island, that they just want to entertain them with beautiful melodies.

What they really want, however, is their sats.

There is a great heap of paper hand bones lying all around, with the flesh still rotting off them. Therefore pass these FUD Sirens by, and stop your men's ears with wax that none of them may hear;

They sit beside the ocean, combing their long golden hair and singing to passing hodlrs. But anyone who hears their song is bewitched by its sweetness, and they are drawn to that island like iron to a magnet. And their ship smashes upon rocks as sharp as spears. And those hodlrs join the many victims of the Sirens in a meadow filled with blood.

Taking a large block of beeswax, a gift from the Goddess Hodl, Hodlysseus breaks it into small pieces and gives one to each of his men. He tells them to soften it and put it into their ears. In this way, they will not hear the FUD of the Sirens.

Hodlysseus wants to hear that famous song and still survive. He orders his sailors to tie him firmly to the ship’s mast. When he is firmly tied, and his men have the beeswax in their ears, they row their ship alongside the island.

When he hears the words and the music, the song enchants Hodlysseus’ heart. He longs to plunge into the waves and to swim to the island. He wants to embrace the FUD.

He strains against the bonds which hold him to the ship’s mast. He strains so hard that the bonds cut deeply into the flesh of his back and arms.

Nodding and scowling at his ear-plugged men, he urges them to free him. Expecting this reaction, the men row harder and harder with their oars.

To Hodlysseus, who is bewitched by the song of shitcoins, the Sirens look as beautiful as Bitcoin. To his crew, made deaf with beeswax, the Sirens seem like hungry monsters with vicious, crooked claws.

The ship speeds forward and soon the FUD of the Sirens is an echo of an echo. Only then do the crew members stop rowing and unplug their ears.

By heeding the advice of the goddess Hodl, Hodlysseus has avoided a catastrophe. He will face many more trials and temptations before he reaches Bithica.

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